


Never have i ever...

by Carlatreca, CodenameAntarctica



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Attempt at Humor, Drinking Games, M/M, Nonesense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlatreca/pseuds/Carlatreca, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodenameAntarctica/pseuds/CodenameAntarctica
Summary: The characters of Finder coming together to play “Never have I ever...”.Short fics of madness and alcohol abuse.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 56





	1. Round 1

**Author's Note:**

> For those not acquainted with this game, it is a play for alcoholics and those who want to become one. The description from Wikipedia reads as follows:
> 
> It is a drinking game in which players take turns asking other players about things they have not done. Other players who have done this thing respond by taking a drink.
> 
> As I understand it, the statement should be the truth for the one claiming it, because the goal of this game is to not get as drunk as the others and therefore not serving a reason to down another shot deliberately. Buuut… I have seen people disregarding this for the sheer joy in losing ;)

This round it is Yoh’s turn now. He regards the Whisky glasses for a moment, wondering how the fuck he got himself into this.

Then he clears his throat, proclaiming loudly:

“Never have I ever touched Akihito indecently.”

Not a second ticks by until both Asami and Fei Long raise their glasses and drink, the first frowning dangerously around the room, the second merely shrugging.

“Oh, I was in a strange mood back than”, Mikhail states, then downs the Whisky.

But when he puts the glass back down, he shoots a look over the table and bellows at his uncle: “You! Drink!”

With a growl Yuri sits straight up, then slams his fist onto the table so that all the glasses and bottles jump.

He drinks, nonetheless, while not the bitterness of the Whisky but of the memory twists his face.

Sakazaki grabs his glass next.

Lifting it up like he wanted to propose a toast, he boasts: “Oh, I touched him, indeed. And after that he touched my cock with his mouth all over!”

A smile splits his face.

Then Asami shoots him.

The bang echoes from the walls for a moment, dampening the mood a tiny notch.

“Who actually was that guy?”, Fei Long asks. “And who is that sissy clinging to your waist and sobbing all the time?”

“I just imagined I was Akihito. And you were meeeeee!”, Sudou wails, then sits up, grabs the whole opened bottle, sucking it empty in one go and subsequently slipping beneath the table.

“Ok, my turn next”, Mikhail postulates, but Akihito interrupts.

“Hey wait! I didn’t react yet! ‘Never have I ever touched Akihito indecently’”, he repeats,then downs one shot and flashes his grin around the room.

Everybody moans.


	2. Round 2

“ _Never_ …”, Mikhail breathes loudly, “have I _ever_ … wanted to kill everybody around me.”

Yoh looks on unmoving, unmoved. “No, I haven’t. Why would I? Sometimes I _had_ to do it. But I never wanted to.”

“What about you, uncle?”, Mikhail turns towards Yuri, who is once again leaning heavily onto the table hating all of this. The giant man just offers the palms of his hands to show his innocence.

“Me? I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

There is laughter all around for a few minutes, but not a single drop drunk.

“But you!”, Akihito shouts picking up the game, pointing a finger at Asami, to which his lover only shrugs.

“Firstly", Asami starts to explain with infinite sincerity, "even if I had at some point, killing everyone around is just a usual form of courtesy in my line of business. You do it for the sport in it. And secondly, mutilating would actually suffice. It’s not my fault they all just drop dead, that’s just my super-seme-powers.”

A hand pops up from under the table trembling and swaying through the air fervently.

“I‘ll be super-ukeee!”, Sudou cries.

“If you keep going like that, there’ll only be super-pukeee”, attests Mikhail grinning wickedly.

“And if anybody is super-uke, that’s me”, Akihito declares proudly.

“Really?”, Fei Long cuts in. “What’s with all the ‘No! Don’t! I don’t want that! Ah!’, huh?”

“Yeah”, Asami dares to chime in smiling to himself. “And with all the stuffing-your-face instead of training, of which I was told by Michihiro-kun?”

Crossing his arms, Akihito glowers across the table at his lover. Suddenly with a quick movement he snatches his glass, feeling all eyes on him in wonderment.

But then he puts it back down.

“No”, he mutters. “I’m too nice a person.”

“Yeah, you are”, Asami smiles smugly, obviously planning something for later behind devious golden eyes. “You’re a good boy and good boys get treats.”

"Ugh!", rolling his eyes, Fei Long downs his shot.

“Eeeew, somebody dropped his Sakazaki here”, Sudou’s voice is heard from below table-limit, “and it’s leaking!”


	3. Round 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @Carlatreca for the idea :D

Refilling the glasses hastily Mikhail beams across the table with sparkly blue eyes.

“Your turn next, love”, he murmurs towards Fei Long.

The Chinese holds his gaze coolly for a moment, then purses his lips and pushes a strand of black hair behind his ear.

“Never have I ever masturbated thinking about any other person present here.”

His visage cracking into a grin, Mikhail snatches his glass, sends a cheer at the dragon of Baishe staring back at him stony-faced. Then he gulps down the Whisky in one large swallow and clinks the glass back onto the table, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

“Luckily I don’t have to drink to _each_ time, because there isn’t enough alcohol in the world”, he declares with infinite bliss.

Fei Long rolls his eyes, then looks for the other contestants.

Akihito has lifted up his glass, gazes at the golden Whisky in it for a moment, then drinks it, pretending only for himself that his blushing is due to the effect of the alcohol only.

Grunting in disgust Yuri empties his own fill, and noone feels comfortable to even acknowledge it.

Next is Yoh, who sighs solemnly, then drains his drink with well-measured sips.

“ _Really_?!”, Akihito gasps in incredulity. “ _You_? To whom?”

Yoh flinches at the question, indeed a redness showing on his hollow cheeks.

“Oh, come on?”, Asami interludes. “As if the answer to that isn’t obvious.”

A look around the room makes him rejoice in gloat. Mikhail glares at Yoh in envy, and Fei Long, who is staring at some point on the wall, obviously rues his proclaim already. Time to make him regret it for real.

Moving deliberately slow and distinct, Asami takes his glass, toasts towards Akihito who beams back happily, then empties it.

“ _But_ ”, he professes in unparalleled wisdom, “I think you have to drink yourself, Fei Long.”

“Oh, _do_ I?”, the Chinese retorts.

“I am sure of it.”

“Well, then you are wrong”, is the answer presented with ultimate gravity.

“ _Really_?”, the Japanese snorts. “Not even to me?”

“No.”

“Not even to _me_?”, Mikhail croaks in disbelieve and consternation.

“No.”

“Really?”, even Yoh pipes in meekly now. “I’ve heard you.”

Fei Long shrugs smugl:. “Oh, I do masturbate. But that wasn’t the emphasize. When _I_ masturbate I only ever think about _myself_. I’m the sexiest in this room anyway!”

Whatever could have turned into an argument, is interrupted by Sudou who once again tries to raise above table-limit.

“Give me a glass! I _do_ masturbate, Asami-sama! I do it a lot! Only for you! Only ever for you. I’ll proof it now!”

But Asami gives him a kick and he vanishes once again.

Only a whimper can be heard still: “Please step on me, Asami-sama!”


	4. Round 4

Grabbing the edge of the table with his giant hands and a deep frown overshadowing his face, Yuri initiates the next round.

“Never have I ever had sexual intercourse with the same gender!”

Mikhail retches heavily at that idea and takes a moment to calm himself. Only then he manages to down his own drink.

Another few glasses are raised and upended: Fei Long’s, Akihito’s and Asami’s without either of them batting an eye.

When Yoh empties his own, _that_ however draws attention once again and turns many heads his way.

“WHAT?”, Mikhail croaks in utter horror. “You? When? How? Why? Above all with WHOM?”

At least two people around that table sigh in relief when Sudou cuts in _this_ time, wailing from beneath the table: “I want to drink! Please Asami-sama make me be able to drink!”

“NO!”, Akihito forbids, taking Sudou’s glass and tipping it’s contents onto the floor.

“No drink for you!” Then he fills all the glasses again to hurriedly start the next round.


	5. Round 5

“Never have I ever drugged anybody”, Akihito recites loudly across the table.

Asami drinks right away winking at his lover across the table with a seductive smile.

Fei Long is next, one of his eyesbrows twitching when he shoots a spiteful glare at the Japanese, whose attention is seized by that.

“You deserved it”, the Chinese declares before drinking up.

“Oh, things like that happen in our field of work”, Mikhail confesses nonchalantly and downing the shot.

Neither Yoh and Yuri drink, both raising their hands in innocence.

At that point Akihito gets up, leaning unto the table. Determinedly he pushes Sudou’s glass towards the edge of the table.

“ _Now_ you have to drink! You drugged _me_!”, he insists.

But the sobbing voice from underneath the surface contradicts: “I didn’t do it myself! I only _had_ someone do it.”

“But it was on _your_ order! That’s the same.”

“Yes, that’s the same”, really everybody else agrees, and finally Sudou obeys the verdict.

Satisfied Akihito sits back down, but then Asami clears his throat.

“You have to drink as well.”

Blinking in confusion at the man, Akihito reflects for a moment, before answering: “But I didn’t drug _anybody_.”

“Yes, you did”, Asami proclaims. “You drugged _me_ with love!”

“Ugh!”, Fei Long retches, refills his glass reiterating the words “Never have I ever wanted to kill everybody around” and gulps the Whisky down.


	6. Round 6

It is Asami’s turn next and he clears his throat again, boasting in infinite confidence: “Never have I ever screwed up my businesses!”

Everybody empties their glass without hesitation, but then all eyes turn on Asami, who does not think about upending his own shot.

Yoh is the first, who dares to talk: “As far as I have heard you shot your employer dead in Hong Kong seven years ago?”

And I killed that guy you were trying to protect from Baishe”, Fei Long adds.

“Also”, Mikhail chimes in gleefully, “I mess up your businesses on a daily basis!”

“So did Chernobog. We forced you to pause and quit on many of your ventures because you were running from us”, discloses Yuri.

“You messed up businesses to save me!”, Akihito declares on top of everything.

Then a voice cuts in, this time from the next room.

“And you made me cancel one tremendously important meeting because Akihito had run off to Hong Kong to meet Fei Long”, Kirishima asserts.

“Your next pay-rise in cancelled!”, Asami yells back at him, but then he empties his own glass in reluctant acknowledgement.

“Anything from _you_ , Sudou?”, he asks after that, his voice brimming with danger and wrath.

“Nooo!”, the other snivels. “Asami-sama never screwed up anything. You’re the best! Would you please screw _me_ now?”


	7. Round 7

Naturally Sudou’s request isn’t granted, but he pulls himself up from the floor, nonetheless, leaning onto the table heavily and nearly tilting it, if it hadn’t been for the many hands shooting out to catch it.

“My turn now!”, he gibbers, straightening up and brushing his hair out of his face, before hastily having to cling onto the furniture again to not fall over.

“Never have I ever managed to get all the people I wanted dead into the same place so that they would shoot each other up!”

A loud bark follows that statement, and he beams around at anybody with a rather unsteady gaze.

“Why would I ever do such a thing?”, Akihito shoots back in horror.

“You say that as if it was something bad”, Mikhail answers bemused. But then he frowns at himself. “No, I don’t think I ever managed that”.

“Me neither”, Yoh avows and so does Yuri, though the latter seems quite frustrated with having to come to that realization.

Fei Long stares at the ceiling for a short while in silent contemplation, then he shakes his head.

“No, can’t say I ever managed that.”

“Fuck!”, Asami confesses lastly. “Pity, but I never did.”

“HA!”, Sudou shrieks, throwing his arms up in triumph. “But _I_ did! I won!”

Then he downs all the drinks himself and dies of alcohol poisoning.


End file.
